Sunday, October 18, 2009

Every Gal Needs a Girlfriend Sometimes

I'm single-handedly declaring today,  

"Best Girlfriend Day."

I'm in sort of a melancholy mood . . . no reason and lots of reasons all at the same time.  Know what I mean?  Only a girlfriend would.

It seems I am going through a time in my life where all my girlfriends are busy, as am I.  Most of us have kids' needs and lives to attend to or careers to keep plodding along.  Or both.  Some of us are busy caring for our beginning-to-age parents.  Some of us are trying to figure out what to do next.  I guess that's what it is.  I suppose that's what it is.

All I know is I'm in the middle of a house filled with love and kids and a husband and, yet, I admit I feel a degree of loneliness.  I really wish I had a good girlfriend with nothing to do today.  I could really use a day out (or in) with a girlfriend -- someone to share my gloom and cheer things up all at the same time.

Know what I mean?  A girlfriend would.


humel said...

I know... Oh, I know! And you can feel bad for being a bit lonely, but it doesn't mean that husband and kids aren't enough - just that time with a girlfriend is precious, and silly, and fun, and special, and like no other time you can get. Just now and then you go through a life stage where you and your friends need to focus on other stuff and proper girl time suffers for it. If you can, make an effort to plan something with one or more friends; if you can't, then know this: the stage does pass. You will get that time again, soon. And don't feel bad for feeling lonely, either - it's OK. Yes, girlfriends understand.

missy said...

I feel that way too. I think with a girlfriend we are allowed to be the person we were before the mom and wife title took over our lives.
My daughters will never know me their than mom and DH will only see me as wife YET although I am those I was my own person with my own thoughts long before I chose to be MOM.

Being “mom” I’m not allowed to say certain things , act silly, have my own thoughts with-out the inevitable “eye-rolling” from the peanut gallery I call my daughters.
I would love a GUILT FREE day of doing nothing. Maybe I don’t want to get dressed, maybe I want to sit in front of the t.v with a box of ice cream and watch Bridget Jones. But if I did any of that my daughters and hubby would have me committed! LOL
I see my daughters doing things I did that their age and I miss being free like that and having shared laughs with friends that don’t judge you and have no expectations over than spending time ago.

Hugs to you,
-missy- who is off to start dinner but if you were here I would grab you by the hand and make a mad dash for the car and we would turn up the music, drive, laugh and talk all night!!

silk purse said...

I will add another voice and perspective from a female point of view;love your refreshing honesty!

I am a woman, 49 years of age, that due to health issues, though happily married to my husband of 27years, is childless..,

Nonetheless, even with the running of a busy Bed and Breakfast, as well as running another business where we meet clients as well, it does get lonely longing for that relationship with my girfriends, though they are dear to my heart, they have all moved away except a handfull, that I'm really not that close to..,

I always thought that being in a family with children was the perfect "hegdge " againt lonlines, yet now I'm fully realizing after what you have shared,(as I hear my older and younger sisters with three children each, articulate as well), that lonliness for the girfriend time of our youth visits us all!..,

Thanks for sharing..,

Please feel most welcome to link on by to my blogs if you'd care to. I would delight in adding you to my online; fellow blogger friendships, because I'm enjoying having met you at your lovely blog, and I can so relate to what you've shared!..,

Cheers from Silken Purse

Weza said...

If we lived close by we could do coffee, and hang out, share our care, laugh out loud. Hope your day surprises you with a blessing.

Becky said...

A nice pot of tea, a good chick flick (Steel Magnolia's?)and hours of good talk. Sure wish we lived closer, too! Thanks, Renee' for the blog today :-)!

Anna Bartlett said...

I totally know what you mean. Sometimes the loneliness is HUGE even though I'm constantly surrounded by my lovely family. It takes some getting used to. Just today though, I rang my equally busy friend and basically told her I needed to see her, for no particular reason but to feel better, and she came. And that's how you know you have chosen well.
Having read your blog I choose you (from afar, and electronically) too.

Renee' said...

Why is it that so many of my bestest friends seem to live in my computer these days??

Thanks, you gals!

Humel -- Thanks for understanding so perfectly, girlfriend. I guess I will just remind myself that this, too, shall pass -- that is comforting and, hopefully, true.

Missy -- Oh, I know! I am a gal with a pretty healthy sense of humor. I can sort of let that show to my one child; the other, however, is a complete mimic despite never really "getting it," and I regret every single light moment I have in front of her. Somehow a 39 y/o woman's humor isn't so funny when recited by a 6 y/o!

Silk Purse -- I know just what you mean about thinking having children is a hedge against loneliness. I had seen it that way, too. But, in one way, I think it brings on another kind of loneliness -- loneliness for yourself, sort of how Missy described it above. It seems you tuck some of your traits and attributes away for years and that's a disorienting feeling.

It took my husband and I quite some time to conceive our first child, so I had a brief spell in the world of infertility. But I just want you to know that even with a houseful of children and barking dogs and that whole package, loneliness still manages to hide awayand sneak up . . . I don't think a thoughtful, soulful person can escape it forever. Thanks for what you shared. Now, can I come steal away at your B&B?? Please????

Weza & Becky -- I don't think you really know how much I would LOVE that right now.

Anna -- I'm so glad you had a friend to call and who came! I'm a little light in that department right now, I'm afraid. We'll regroup sometime, I'm sure. Thanks for your kind words; it meant a lot to me.

Thanks again to all.

Bobo Bun said...

Hey sweetheart in a bad attempt to cheer you up, know you're not alone as most of us feel the same way. Some don't realise it as they're happy to spend time with people they have little in common with as that's better than being lonely and the rest well I just think they're fibbing when they say they never get lonely.

It's just learning how to deal with it really I guess.

We have too much water between us for a real hug - but it's still there in my thoughts to you.

Lisa x

Dolly said...

Awww I will be your girlfriend! I need one too!
Since we moved I have no girl friends...just friends!
I miss that friendship!


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