Friday, April 9, 2010

Spring Brakes


When you're a parent, you do things for your children.

Right?

Whatever they need, you do. You're a parent.

Me, I'm a mom.

I would lay down my life for my children.

You know I would.

There is no sacrifice too large for my children.

I have been pregnant. I've watched my feet swell beyond my own recognition. I went months without eating any salt. (Oh, yeah? Try it for, like, 4 hours.) I endured hours of labor only to submit to a c-section in the end.

There were sleepless nights of rocking and lullabying, and kicking and flailing (no, not me).

There are the adventures with food. Things they like, things they don't and whatever ramifications thereafter flow.

I don't think I have to mention the soiled diapers . . . and pants . . . and socks . . .

There are the nightmares.

And the first days of school.

The fevers. The scrapes and bumps. The stitches.

Hours spent watching shows starring purple dinosaurs, green grouches, and animated rabbits

And round-the-clock, on-demand psycho-therapy regarding the delusion of monsters existing under the bed.

But all those pale in comparison to what I am being asked to endure today.

Today.

ugh.

This may be it for me today.

As you may know, it is spring break in our little kingdom. We did the usual things, Easter, picnic, playground, shopping, cleaning rooms (yes, it's not all beer & skittles, even when you're 9).

But we planned something special for these last few days of spring break.

A water park.

Not just any waterpark.

Great Wolf Lodge.

If you're not familiar with Great Wolf Lodge, allow me to elaborate:



Indoor waterpark.

Six story water slide.

Wave pools.

Splash mountain.

And much, much more.

That's right? Who needs sleep? Who needs food? When you can just swim and splash and swim some more.

I watched with horror as my son pulled a robe that caused a pail to overturn and dump water onto an unsuspecting boy on the level beneath him.



I sat forward, ready to jump up and save my son from the certain pummeling he richly deserved.

But the unsuspecting victim just wiped the water from his eyes, laughed, and went on his way.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??

Surely, they are not my kind.

This is my kind:



I hate the water.

I don't like water on my face.

I get mad.

My maiden voyage on an innertube in the wading pool ended with me grabbing for my husband and screaming (between gulps of water), "Help me! I hate you! HELP ME!!"



I got water up my nose and, obviously, on my face.

(Think back to yesterday. Remember that weird little moment in the afternoon when the sun was suddenly covered over by a black cloud and a strong, mean breeze blew through? Yah, t'was me.)

I have a new strategy today.

You. See how you're protecting me? Here I sit with my cherry mocha from the in-house Starbucks, still in my pajamas.

Nice and dry.

The kids and my husband have already gone ahead to the waterpark.

Interestingly, no one implored me quite as passionately to join them this morning.

Too bad.









16 comments:

Missy AKA Little Messy Missy said...

I drove past a Wolf Mountain Lodge in Texas once while on a road trip... I think I would sneak down and takes lots of pictures without their knowledge or permission, of course after I had a nap and maybe a pedicure and a definite refill at Starbucks and some of there lemon pound cake too....

KeLLy aNN said...

Whoa! I am not a water person. I am a woods person. But I do like the traditional week at the beach for the summer.
Make that a cappuccino and chocolate cake....

Brynwood Needleworks said...

Yeah, water parks. Baaahhh. I agree with Kelly Ann. If you're gonna have to be near the water, with other people's precious little darlings, the beach is the place. However, this is tempered a bit by the in-house Starbucks!
Chin up, girl. This, too, shall pass.
xoxo
Donna

Sondra said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Four Seasons in a Life said...

Dear Renee,

There is an Iranian expression the mothers say when talking about their children, it translates to "I sacrifice myself for your . . ." That is what good, loving and caring parents do and you no doubt have been doing.

However I can understand being dragged and pulled to an indoor watering adventure is something else, not to mention the noise level that is brought on by the enclosure.

Yet on the other hand I am thinking about my own childhood and some fifty years plus back to when such places as the Great Wolf Lodge did not exist, nor for that matter, todays coffee houses.

Look on the bright side of things, you won't have to deal with your children's agony of sunburn for the next several days, as surly it would have happened if the event had been outdoors.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend,
Egmont


PS: the previous deleted comment was me, as I was signed in while working on someone else's blog. Sorry about that. -E

John Gray jgsheffield@hotmail.com said...

i need to hear more about the concrete aligator!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Renee! I had the Great Wolf Lodge torture a couple years ago! While I am not exactly a water lover, I did manage to have a good time until I thought about all those poor souls who had to stand in line behind me as we wound our way up to the slides. Their eyes must have been damaged from the sight of my lightning-white cottage-cheese legs.

You've certainly done your motherly duty, and should be let off the hook from other forms of motherly torture for the rest of the year.

You're a brave, brave woman!

Gayla

Chicken Boys said...

I would LOVE it!!!! Never been there, but I hear the commercials on the radio all the time. Once my family went to Schlitterbahn in New Braunfels, Texas, and I went along. More family later in the week, and I stayed. More family later in the week, and I still stayed! They have a resort-type hotel in the (outdoor) waterpark on the (freezing cold) (I forgot the name) River. I was there at that waterpark for an entire 7 days. and I loved it....till......7 days is just way too much. I was so sick of water slides. Three days max would be good for me, thank you. Especially if you are staying right on the river, and have a hot tub in your room.
~Randy

Chickens in the Basement said...

Oh how nice! I love being alone in a hotel room with my computer and no projects, chores, children, etc. demanding my attention. I recommend you get up right now and put on the security lock so even the key card won't let anyone in!

bad penny said...

Good move - let the dad take them !
I used to take mine to this pool place & my friend & I would glide round on this moving water thing while the kids did everything else - oh and the bubble pool that was fun watching our cossies almost pop ( glad they didn't ! )

But I won't even consider entering a theme park !

Mumsy said...

It's spring break for us too, and the demand sometimes overwhelming, but we manage to get to the movie once..My son would have love to be in that water park..Me? Not so much

Donna said...

Hahahaa...I like the way you think!!
Nice blog!!

Di in Indiana said...

Well, I would love to take the 4-C's, or perhaps watch as their mothers take them! Looks like an awesome place - if that is what you are looking for.

Tina said...

I loved this post, especially how you described yourself with just that one picture of the girl in the bathing cap. Brilliant. Oh, what we endure for our children. Though the water park isn't MY worst nightmare, I do have them, and I shudder as I'm typing this, hoping that by not putting it in words my boys won't ask for it this summer. Hang in there my fellow blogger, have courage, and know we are all cheering for you!

Anna Bartlett said...

That is hilarious. You're a good mum, but this definitely sounds like a job for dad!

Anonymous said...

What i do not understood is in reality how you are now not actually much more well-liked than you
may be right now. You are very intelligent. You recognize
therefore considerably in the case of this matter, produced me in my view consider it from numerous varied angles.
Its like men and women don't seem to be fascinated unless it is something to do with Girl gaga! Your own stuffs nice. At all times maintain it up!

Also visit my site guaranteed payday loans

Related Posts with Thumbnails