Saturday, July 10, 2010

Saturday 9

It's Saturday.  Time for the Saturday 9.  Check out Crazy Sam for more participants or to participate yourself.

1. When was the last time you were told to go your own way?  Probably when I was in college.  I was trying to decide whether to go on to law school or not, and asked the advice of one of my English professors (who was also a practicing attorney).  He encouraged me, reminding me that you only get one chance at life, to grab what I want.

2. What one experience has strengthened your character the most so far?  Raising my daughter who is a highly traumatized former orphan who cannot feel or accept love.  She challenges who I am, all my parts, every single day.  It is my most fervent wish to help her, to heal her, but it is my deepest concern that we will not be the ones to do it.

3. What's your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?  Get all my "musts" done quickly and then curl up, knit, and watch chick flicks. 

4. How long can you go without your cell phone?  Having it?  Not long at all, because I like to feel like I'm reachable should my small kids need me.  Using it?  I could go quite a while.  I've worked very hard not to become dependent upon it.

5. Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?  Yes, I wish I were off on the outing my son and husband are on, but, alas, only one parent to a child, as usual at these things. 

6. Of all the people you've ever known, who have you most feared?  My mother.

7. Do people tell you that you look your age?  Some people tell me rather emphatically that I look younger, but I don't honestly believe them.

 8. Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?  Kiss me, you devil!  (kidding, only kidding)

9. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?  No.

Have a weekend!


Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

#2 - Wondering why you took this on? And how your husband and son, deal with it? Well, I'm sure your husband AND you, took this on. But, how does your son deal with it?

#6 - Wow. Hugs...

LemonyRenee' said...

AA -- We took it on because we thought we had enough strength and love to share with someone who so desperately needed it. We felt that, in our own conscience, that if we had a space in our family, it would be the right thing to do to fill it with someone who didn't have a family and might not ever get one otherwise.

We thought we were prepared for the special needs of a traumatized child. We truly believed we could persevere and help a child like this heal. We grossly underestimated how deep and how dark the pain in this child would be.

My husband feels as I do, and it is a struggle every single day. My son, instead of having a sister, is actually worse off, in many ways, than an only child because he is a child of heartbroken and exhausted and distracted parents. In all my life, I would have never chosen this for him, or only-childhood. But this child has been so all-consuming that we were never in a place to have another baby or adopt another child. This is the greatest sadness of my life.

Thanks for the hugs. I need them more than I can say.

Tina said...

Oh Renee, I so understand where you're coming from. My Best has adopted two traumatized children, and I watch her struggle mightily. Daily. She's a single mom, and really needs respite. I admire you so much for taking this on, and can relate to the heartache of feeling unsuccessful.

Jabacue said...

Renee, I am sure your son will and has reaped the benefits of having such loving parents. May not see it now but it will surface. Have you seen any progress with your daughter? As you know it takes so long to mend and heal to just allow anything to 'come out' that isn't some distortion from the past. Stay strong.

LemonyRenee' said...

Jim -- Thanks. It has been almost 6 years. Sometimes there is a glimmer of progress, but as soon as she becomes aware of it, the backlash sets her right back.

Tina -- I will pray for your friend. I do not know what I would be doing if I did not have my husband in this with me. I truly, truly don't. Support her. I am sure you already do, but do even more. Call her. And believe her.

sissie said...

I have been reading everyones comments about your daughter. My heart breaks for you and your family but I truly believe that you will be blessed one day. She knows you love her and maybe someday you will be able to break through.

I'll be praying for you.


Marydon said...

G'morn sweetie ~ Having met your daughter, I say this to you, my special friend. One day you will smile with great pride, overriding all your heartaches now ... she will make you proud. Your son is benefiting & learning from all of this ... it will make him a better parent & adult. I wish I could give you a hug, & will one day soon again ... love comes at the darnedest times, & you'll beam with great joy. I hope to be able to share with you this moment in your life, my friend.

Hugs of love, sweetie ~ Marydon

MomInTheTrench said...

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9

bad penny said...

I love reading these. You are so honest. Bless you

Bobo Bun said...

Jill your second reply really hit me. Even through our emails I never fully got how draining it all is and how having your daughter has affected you. Lots of love to you my bloggy friend.
Lets speak soon. I miss our chats.
Lisa x

Di in Indiana said...

Sending you love & hugs ;-) Loved your honest answer #9.

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