Okay, so I'm back.
I've been gone.
I've been hurting.
My family has gone through some changes, and my daughter is not living with us.
It is what is best for her.
As for us, it has been a time of heartbreak as well as a time of relief.
I have a few dear friends -- and you know who you are -- who have been so loving and so supportive. I truly do not know where I would be at this moment without them.
And there have been some disappointments.
Many people are unhappy with this change.
Many people have judged us harshly.
My son has lost not only a sister, but he has lost some of his extended family.
This hurts me beyond words.
So it has been a time of primal sadness,
and of deepest gratitude.
I see more clearly than ever whom I can count on, who loves me, and what love truly feels like.
I am here to testify to the importance of small gestures.
A note, a smile, a tender word, an understanding pause when there is nothing to say.
More valuable than gold.
It can save a life.
So as I find my way through this dark time in my life, I re-purpose this blog.
I now dedicate this blog to help soothe the souls of the walking wounded.
This will be a place, hopefully, of uplift, of reassurance, of kindness, of tenderness, a refuge.
I dedicate myself to finding, noticing, and sharing the kindnesses in life, the tender mercies, the light.
It seems to me, we could all use more of that just now.
So please bear with me as I find my new way. I will not be talking so much about myself as I process and heal. It is not for any other reason other than that where I am right now defies words, mine anyway.
I will be working to make this blog a provocation for more kindness and more tenderness and support in the world.
I want you to leave this blog happier than you came. If not happier, perhaps more reassured or perhaps more content or perhaps just a bit more soothed and loved.
I have heard it said that you receive what you give . . . I know not where, perhaps in my own heart . . . so I send this blog out . . . setting such notion, sentiment, and intent in motion, free to find its way to those who need and, admittedly, in hopes of lifting up myself as well.
I bid you peace, comfort, and friendship.
Pants On the Ground
14 hours ago