A Little Sunshine

After being pretty down about the harshness of life yesterday, I thought I owed a little cheer today.


Look what a child can do for even the most cynical and tired . . . 







Lovely.

When They Hurt

I remember when my son was learning to walk. I was relating to my mother how difficult it is to watch him fall, flinching every time. I hated to see him hurt, even if it was only a momentary jostle. My mother empathized and then added, "If you think you it's hard to take when he deals with that kind of hurt . . . just wait until someone hurts his feelings. That is excruciating."

I know what she meant now.

My son is, of course, extraordinary. He is perfect in every way. To set your eyes upon him is to feed your soul with joy and contentment. At least that's how I see him.

But I also know that my son is a bit different around his peers. He is quite reserved. And, being mostly a nature-nick, he is a bit out of the loop with many of his compulsive-gaming classmates.

That is not to say that he has no friends. He does. He has a small circle of friends. He's more into the scout crowd than the sports crowd which is a considerably bigger and more raucous group.

Imagine our joy when a new boy joined the class last year. A very polite boy, very science minded, very studious. He and my son became fast friends. An answer to my prayers.

Imagine our anguish when this same boy simply decided one day that he no longer wanted to be my son's friend. No reason given. He just dropped him. We even inquired with the boy's parents about there perhaps being more to the story. No. They were no more helpful than the boy. And now, the worst of all -- if you're 10, anyway -- he did not invite him, despite inviting nearly everyone else, to his birthday party.

My son, who is usually quite reserved and stoic when it comes to displays of emotion, is notably sad and hurt.

Being a proper mama-tiger, I, of course, am incensed. How could someone treat my boy this way? I thought it was teenage girls who did this sort of thing? Isn't this supposed to be one of the advantages of being a boy, simple friendships? And after all our coaching and cajoling to our son about being more outgoing, trusting his friends enough to really be himself. This was his first "best friend." I am crushed for him.

Thanks for listening.

Approaching Normal

Is it getting too late to say, "Happy new year?"

Every year, I think I go a little overboard wishing everyone I see for the first time in the new year a happy one.  I seem to have an almost superstitious compulsion to collect as many "happy new year"-s as possible, hoping that each one will feather my new year's nest and make for an even more wonderful year.  So, if I haven't wished you one yet:  Happy New Year!

The reason for my tardiness in this regard is a nasty, nasty cold I came down with on 12/29 and only just yesterday (1/9) began feeling human again.  Yikes!  My advice to you, dear readers:  If you feel yourself coming down with a cold right now, take it seriously -- run, don't walk, to drink your fluids and buck up those vitamins.  It is a bad one.  People around here have been being laid up for at least a week with it and the symptoms run the gambit, leaving none of the classic bad-winter-cold symptoms unsounded.

Finally, I have turned the corner.  I got out yesterday -- dressed, make-upped, even shoes on.  It felt wonderful.  In my celebration of life yesterday -- a.k.a. leaving the house for the first time in more than 10 days -- I took my family out for pancakes, the first non-saltine or broth food in almost a week.  Do you realize how delicious pancakes are?  Heaven.  Too good, really, to be eaten so casually . . . not that I let that stop me.  I had a nice little stack.

Then, off to the movies.  The King's Speech.  Wonderful film.  The performances of Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush were just magnificent.  Geoffrey Rush's nonverbal performance in this movie is breathtaking and, on occasion, heartbreaking.  Really, a beautiful movie.  Well worth the time and the ticket price -- a rare thing these days.

  

Now that I'm back among the living, I have much to catch up on.  Never have I been happier to do laundry!

Have a great day,

End of Year Thunks

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?  I began seeing things as they really are.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?  I probably did not keep my new year's resolutions for last year.  It was not a year for refining, more a year for surviving.  This year, though, I will have some good and serious resolutions. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?  No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?  No.

5. What countries did you visit?  None other than my home country. 

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?  Peacefulness.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?  4/25/10, a day I began seeing truths.  8/20/10, a day of new beginnings.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?  Coming to grips with realities and taking steps toward accepting and advancing them. 

9. What was your biggest failure?  Not being the one capable of fully healing my daughter.  (But I am most proud of finding the people who can.)

10. What was the best thing you bought?  Piano lessons for my son; they have cracked open a whole new facet of his being.  

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?  My son's, my husband's.  I am a lucky woman.

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and disgusted?  If I were to name names here, I would be disappointed in myself.  Several, though, unfortunately.

13. What song will always remind you of 2010?  Ave Maria by Noa.

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?  Relaxing, trusting, accepting.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?  Worrying, lamenting.

16. Did you fall in love in 2010?  Yes.  I saw yet another side to my husband that makes me love him even more.

17. Who did you miss?  My grandmothers, my mother-in-law, my younger self.

18. Who was the best new person you met?  Shasta.  You amaze me, Sweetie. 

I am looking forward to this new year more than most.  

How 'bout you?  

My thanks to Thursday Thunks.  Click here to participate or to lurk. 

Heavy Hearted Holidays

When I was a child, all my Christmases were merry.

     I was very blessed.

Now my life is more complex, and this Christmas will be tinged with melancholy and sadness,

     But I am still blessed.

And I also know I am not alone.

I dedicate this post to those out there with hearts heavier than their packages this year,

To the walking wounded who will smile and laugh in spite of their darkness,

And to those who will not smile or laugh, but perhaps weep and be still.

You are not forgotten.  

These days will pass, I pray,

As I whole-heartedly welcome a new year, 
And wish you peace and comfort and joy.

Whose Watchful Eye

A Soldier’s Christmas Poem

~ written by a Marine stationed in Okinawa Japan

'Twas The Night Before Christmas,
He Lived All Alone,
In A One Bedroom House
Made Of Plaster And Stone.

I Had Come Down The Chimney
With Presents To Give,
And To See Just Who
In This Home Did Live.

I Looked All About,
A Strange Sight I Did See,
No Tinsel, No Presents,
Not Even A Tree.

No Stocking By Mantle,
Just Boots Filled With Sand,
On The Wall Hung Pictures
Of Far Distant Lands.

With Medals And Badges,
Awards Of All Kinds,
A Sober Thought Came Through My Mind.

For This House Was Different,
It Was Dark And Dreary,
I Found The Home Of A Soldier,
Once I Could See Clearly.

The Soldier Lay Sleeping,
Silent, Alone
Curled Up On The Floor
In This One Bedroom Home.

The Face Was So Gentle,
The Room In Such Disorder,
Not How I Pictured
A United States Soldier.

Was This The Hero
Of Whom I'd Just Read?
Curled Up On A Poncho,
The Floor For A Bed?

I Realized The Families
That I Saw This Night,
Owed Their Lives To These Soldiers
Who Were Willing To Fight.

Soon Round The World,
The Children Would Play,
And Grownups Would Celebrate
A Bright Christmas Day.

They All Enjoyed Freedom
Each Month Of The Year,
Because Of The Soldiers,
Like The One Lying Here.

I Couldn't Help Wonder
How Many Lay Alone,
On A Cold Christmas Eve
In A Land Far From Home.

The Very Thought
Brought A Tear To My Eye,
I Dropped To My Knees
And Started To Cry.

The Soldier Awakened
And I Heard A Rough Voice,
"Santa Don't Cry,
This Life Is My Choice;

I Fight For Freedom,
I Don't Ask For More,
My Life Is My God,
My Country, My Corps."

The Soldier Rolled Over
And Drifted To Sleep,
I Couldn't Control It,
I Continued To Weep.

I Kept Watch For Hours,
So Silent And Still
And We Both Shivered
From The Cold Night's Chill.

I Didn't Want To Leave
On That Cold, Dark, Night,
This Guardian Of Honor
So Willing To Fight.

Then The Soldier Rolled Over,
With A Voice Soft And Pure,
Whispered, "Carry On Santa,
It's Christmas Day, All Is Secure."

One Look At My Watch,
And I Knew He Was Right.
"Merry Christmas My Friend,
And May God Bless You This Night."

 

msnbc

 

 The Seattle Times

Come home soon, safe, and successful.

Merry Christmas